One Door Closed, Few More Doors Open

I've been noticing the songs that I kept on listening for the past 2-3 month. Here's the list :-

Blank Space - Taylor Swift

Shower - Becky G

Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding

Kept on repeating it over and over again. I noticed something. The story behind every song. Owh well, what can I say. I've moved on. In love again. Thank you Allah for giving me the chance to have this feeling again. 

I'm definitely not in a relationship now. But been seeing someone for few months already. When one door closed, few more doors open. I was happy before I met him. I manage to find my own happiness without the help of anyone. But after knowing this person, I can say I am happier. I smile everyday. Although we just knew each other for few months.

When I broke up and confront my ex's mother because he refuse to do so. His mum was so supportive. Not supportive being happy that we are no longer together. But supportive as a mother. She kept on saying pray a lot to Allah, do solat Istikharah a lot. I cried in front of her many times that day. She said who knows I found someone  a lot better than his son is for me in few months time. I came again recently to her house to meet her. I told her, it seems like Allah has grant my wish. She was right. Get closer to Allah, ask Him things.

He will help you. Have faith in Him.

You Make Me Smile

It's been a long time since I can say I am happy. I mean I tried to cherish every moment in my life after my battle with depression. I did. I have my happiness wall to convince myself that those are the things that made you happy before. Telling myself that I have my happy moments. But for the first time after so long, I can say I smile everyday. Tomorrow is a new day for me and I can't wait to see tomorrow unlike before. 

Thank you dear friend that I just knew. Thank you so much. You gave me hope. Is this love? No, it is happiness. Happiness that I've been waiting for. I'm crying right now cause I am so happy. It's been quite a while someone make me happy. I mean really makes me happy. Regardless of he knowing it or not. Now I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Alhamdulillah ya Allah. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to know someone like him. Thank you ya Allah. Thank you for meeting me with SA. 

It Wasn't Enough

There's a time when I felt down. Really down. I manage to get up again with the help of my friend and alhamdulillah He always by my side during my ups and downs. I started to be even more grateful with the things I have right now. As for me, I tend to look things physically. If I can see it physically, then I am more convince. 

What I did was, I wrote down all the things that I am grateful for on a piece on an a7 paper ( a4 paper cut into 8 parts ), fold it and put it inside a box. The more paper that I used to write the things that I am grateful for, the more things came in my mind to write it on the paper. At one point I said to myself, you can use every paper that you have, cut every tree to make papers to write the things that you're grateful for, write it on every surface that is writable, but it is still not enough. 

Allah is so merciful. Even when you didn't 'talk' to Him, He still loves you no matter what you did, He still care even if you don't, He still there when you need Him. By the time, you want to 'be back', He will still accept you. 

Alhamdulillah.

Thank you

Dear friend, I had a break down just now. I was shaking, crying and lonely. I texted you. Thank you for reading all my text. Thank you for being there. Thank you.